How does going through trials as a couple help us better ourselves? I know being married at times of trial I learn a lot about the things I need to change in myself. I learn what works and doesn't work, then I try and evaluate and find ways to better myself. If we ask the questions Lord, what do I need to learn about this trial for myself and What things do I need to change to become better? We have a better understanding of what the Lord wants us to learn from this. We also learn the things we need to change in order to become that person we know not only Heavenly Father wants us to become, but what our partner needs as well. We need to love ourselves. By loving ourselves it helps us become more capable of loving others. We Know that it is ok that you aren't perfect, we are always learning and growing. It is also ok that your partner isn't perfect, they are growing as well. Accept and own that you have faults and that your partner has them. Learn to help strengthen each others faults, not hold them against each other. This will help strengthen your relationship. Hearts can change once we turn ourselves over to God. Allow him to help you make changes in yourself for the better. If we become more like him, we will be more forgiving and always have unconditional love This will also help us to see all the good things in each other, and not always the bad. We will want to help each other become better, and reach the full potential we know we are capable of. I think each new struggle brings something new to learn together. Learning about ourselves and becoming better from the struggles we are faced with is key to being better prepared for the next one we are faced with.
How does this help strengthen our relationship? In my own life I guess my husband and I would be labeled as a couple who has faced much adversity. We have experienced a lot of personal trials in our almost nine years of marriage. We have been through a lot of ups and downs. Sometimes you can be so happy you feel like you are going to explode, and other times you wonder am I ever going to get through this. I remember before I was married and the bishop told my soon to be husband and I a very prominent thing. He said Satan always goes after the couples that Heavenly Father has great plans for. At first I didn't understand this concept very well, but I can assure you I do now. Satan will do anything he can to try and hurt a relationship. He will cause you to have fear, doubt, make you think you aren't good enough for each other, and so on. One of my biggest fears for awhile was I didn' t feel I was good enough for my husband so out of fear of him one day leaving me, I would do things to push him away. This is never good to think or feel. Heavenly Father brings two people together for a reason. He knows we are more then good enough for each other, so why should we feel differently? I think we need to really know and believe in our worth to Heavenly Father, and our partner! They both love us so much, we need to trust in this. Satan will always test us on this. I remember thinking some days that I was ready to quit. How could I endure one more thing happening to us? I was hurt, tired, and an emotional mess. I remember thinking to my self does he even love me, is this going to work out? Why do we have to keep going through all of this. Then a soft voice whispered to me. I gave him to you, because I knew you would never give up on him, even when it's hard. This literally brought tears to my eyes. Here I was complaining about this problem, when Heavenly Father trusted me to be there to help one of his sons. He knew I was the one who could help him through his dark days, and never give up on him. He knew the struggles we were faced with would be hard. But as long as we had each other, we could make it through anything thrown our way. Satan thrives on our insecurities, we need to take the fear out of the relationship and let the Faith come in. So why does God allow struggles like this to happen? I believe he allows us to have these struggles to help better prepare us for the bigger ones that are coming. He doesn't do this to hurt us, he loves us. He doesn't want us to fail. He wants us to learn important things and grow from each struggle to better prepare us for what is ahead. He also allows this to happen so we can learn to trust in not only God, but one another as well. It also helps us grow together. How else could we learn to come together as a team, the whole us against the world mentality? Each trial helps us become a lot closer to each other. It helps us learn our strengths and weaknesses as a couple, and what we need to improve on to help us better prepare when they come again. Don't let the struggle you're facing become more important then each other. Heavenly Father has promised us that he will never give us a burden we cannot bare. He loves us and of course he wants us to be happy, but he also wants us to be able to learn and grow together. If we never had trials thrown at us, how would our strength be tested as a couple? Of course there will be arguments and problems. It's how we learn to handle them that helps us grow. I think trials are what help define a relationship. It's not always about the happy, and that's ok. We need to have bad times to appreciate all the good times. This makes the good times even sweeter. Loving someone is loving them through the happy, the sad, good, bad, and even the ugly. If we hold tight to each other through all that we experience, it helps our love grow even stronger. It helps us become ready to face whatever challenges are up ahead. The hard times will come, and if we are there for each other, and work as a team we will better conquer them.
How does this help us grow closer to God? If we were only given the happy days, how often would we turn to our Heavenly Father? Of course life would be easier if it were full of only happy times, but how would we learn? When we are faced with trials by praying together as a couple, it helps us become closer to him. We better learn of his plan for us as a couple and the plan he has for us individually. When going through our struggles as a couple, put your lives in Heavenly Father's hands. Trust that he can help you through anything you are faced with. Through the power of prayer ask for both of you to have patience with each other , a heart to be understanding & forgiving, help you let go of pride, and to always see the best in each other no matter what. Alway keep Heavenly Father in your relationship. When he is apart of our relationship, he is able to protect it more. This helps us grow to trust in him, and know that when we are faced with trials we can always go to him together. He loves us, and wants the best for us. He is there to give us hope, faith, and whatever else we need during struggles. Trust him, he is always mindful of our needs and will never let us down.
I think all of these things are very important to help us learn during the struggles we face in relationships. The things I have learned is never give up on the one you love no matter how hard it gets. Nothing worth having comes easy. Always show unconditional love, don't put unrealistic expectations on them. If they know you will have their back no matter what, they will come to you more when they themselves are struggling. You two are a team, always remember that. Your problems are his problems, and his are yours When you fight these battles together as a team instead of against each other, you will be more successful. There will always be some hurt, heartache, and tears during these struggles, but with that comes a lot of growth.You can face anything together with not only God on your side, but your partner as well. Remember through these hard times to communicate to your partner you may not like them or what they did at the moment, but you still love them. True love is always worth it, love is worth the fight! Nothing is too broken it can't be fixed. Through the healing power of the atonement and through forgiveness, broken hearts can be healed. I pray that this post can help and encourage everyone to not be discouraged during trials, but learn from them together!
I have started The Love Dare Challenge, to help strengthen my relationship. It is a 40 day challenge, so when I have finished it I will post my results. For all that have never heard about it, below is a link on where to find it.
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Dare-Alex-Kendrick-ebook/dp/B00BGEVWSI/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1408666151&sr=1-1&keywords=the+love+dare
Great Talk! Below is a quote from a great talk by Henry B Eyring. I encourage you to read the talk, it's a good one!
Our Perfect Example
Henry B. Eyring
First, I give counsel to husbands and wives. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.
