I wanted to share our story of what we have been going through with this
fertility journey of ours. This has been one of the biggest trials and heartaches in my life, so let me start from the beginning.
Every girl yearns to be a mommy from the time they are little playing with their dolls. They long for the day when they can be married and start their own beautiful family. After all that's what's supposed to happen right? You get married and start a family. I wish this was the case for us right now.
Corey and I have been trying to start our family for about 6 years. Our journey began when I found out I had PCOS. Something that is very common for infertility. A doctor explained the basics to me my hormones are out of balance, which makes it hard to get pregnant. Finding that out was honestly a shot in the gut. It was scary frightening, and not something I could fathom. Now that I know more about it, it is not as scary. This is one of the most common infertility causes and the most treatable. Through medicines such as clomid and other prescriptions, this can be helped.
My doctor put me on clomid several times and we still didn't see any results. This has been so disheartening. Many nights and days I would just cry. My heart just aches to hold a baby in my arms, to be someone's mommy, and to know they are mine forever.
Sometimes I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster. This is one of the hardest trials I have had in my life. It has also been a very spiritual and sort of enlightening one, if that makes sense? I think I have grown more closer to my Father in Heaven then I have before. You honestly grow so much spiritually through this. Although my heart never stops aching for a baby, I know it is in his hands. He is always been there for me, so why wouldn't he be now?
We started out on a fertilty drug called clomid, it wasn't really working though. So my doctor sent me to a fertility specialist. He did a sonogram and found what he thought was a small mass. This was so scary, because we had no idea what to expect. My doctor ordered an ultrasound and they discovered that mass they thought was small, wasn't so small. It was the size of a basketball, no I am not kidding. They had to get it out and quick. 2 weeks later I was scheduled for surgery. The surgery went very well and they were able to remove it. Now we are back on clomid, hoping that the mass was a factor in us not getting pregnant. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father though, I can't even imagine getting pregnant and having that mass. He definitely knew that we weren't supposed to be pregnant.
Six months after the surgery I went back on clomid, still no results. As time went on the fear came. What if I never have a baby? This makes my heart break into a million pieces. My emotions go all over the place and I know it is a true trial of my Faith. I was put on a new medicine, and still nothing. So what is the update now?
My sister was told about this amazing fertility doctor in Pleasant Grove. So I made an appointment in February to see him. From the minute I walked in the office I truly felt the spirit. My family had special fasts for me and I was given a blessing. I saw a picture on his desk that truly brought so much peace into my heart it was Mosiah 8:18 Thus God has provided a means that man, through faith, might work mighty miracles; therefore he becometh a great benefit to his fellow beings. What a beautiful and comforting scripture. It is amazing to me how the Lord often speaks to us, sometimes without us even knowing.
We met with Dr. Foulk and we went over my condition. He explained to Corey and I about my PCOS, and a plan of action. He says hopefully with the medicines and doing the IUI(insemination) procedure, I could be pregnant by June. If this doesn't work we go onto plan B.
So here we go. A new part of the journey. One that is full of hope promise and a scary unknown. I am scared, but I am also have Faith and hope. It's in the Lord's hands now, so what better place for it to be right? I will keep you updated on the results, and feelings of this new part of our journey. While we are going through this crazy adventure we would really appreciate prayers and support. Thank you to all our friends and family for always being there with us on this journey. We love you all and are so grateful for all your love and support!
Something I am truly learning on this journey is that God, not I is in control. That with God anything is possible. My favorite quote is: "Where there is hope, there if Faith, where there is Faith, miracles happen." Heavenly Father is always there for us, all we have to do is ask and leave it in his hands. So now it's time to Let go and let God take over. Hopefully we will be blessed with a little one, but one thing is for sure we will keep learning and growing
